Chapter 16

 

      It was a very grim time.

      Tarrin's death had terribly affected the entire Tower, from the Keeper down the the lowliest maid or servant.  Though not everyone knew him, and fewer liked him, he had been such a integral part of the Tower, such a part of its workings and its power structure, that his loss had affected everyone within it.  And as things affected the Tower, so they also affected Suld.  The new king of Sulasia, Arren Strongheart, had gone into deepest mourning when he heard the news, and had ordered a day of mourning for the city and the kingdom.  Everyone in the Tower was very quiet and somber, all the katzh-dashi wearing mourning black, and very little real business was being done.

      It had been three days since the strange and terrible end of the war.  They had won.  Not many Goblinoids survived the horrific earthquakes, and Val had been utterly destroyed, which had forever removed the threat he had posed, but the cost it had exacted had been more than they had all been willing to pay.  All of them except Tarrin, it seemed.  All of his friends gathered together and tried to make sense of what happened, but nobody had been close to him when it happened except Jesmind and Jasana, and they were not very helpful.  Jesmind had entered a deep black reverie that had struck her not long after she found out what happened.  She would not speak unless spoken to, and her responses were often disjointed and made little sense.  Jasana was virtually inconsolable, and even speaking her father's name was enough to send her into a crying storm so severe that only Jesmind or Triana could calm her down.  But Jesmind was so lost in her grief that the burden of caring for the fragile child fell to her grandmother, and she accepted the burden with haunted eyes.  Tarrin had meant a great deal to the Were-cat matriarch, and his loss had struck her just as keenly as it had her family, but she seemed capable of holding herself together.  Mist had taken the news better than everyone expected.  The destruction she wrought was confined to only two floors, and luckily they managed to clear the warzone of all innocents before Mist got outside of their area of control.  They did not try to stop her, they only confined her to areas of the Tower where they could afford to lose what was there, and Jenna wanly joked with Mist after she played out her rage that those were areas that needed remodelling anyway.  Kimmie had fainted when they told her, and the shock of it had sent her into labor.  She had not been conscious for the birth of her own child, or much to the surprise of everyone, her children.  She had twins, a pair of blue-eyed baby girls who looked exactly alike, with Kimmie's blue eyes and their father's black fur.  They had dark hair like their mother, but everyone who looked at them said they could see Tarrin in those tiny infants' faces.  In honor of their father, Kimmie named her babies Tara and Rina.

      The joy of her children did not make up for the loss of their father.  It was a bittersweet thing for Kimmie, Mist, and Triana, as her bond-mother and the Were-cat matriarch helped the grieving mother to care for her wondrous burden.

      The Keeper had her own troubles with the loss of her brother, so much so that the running of the Tower and the paperwork it required began to fall behind.  Duncan and Ianelle did their best to help in that regard, and they kept things running while the young girl dealt with her grief.

      The death of Tarrin had had a powerful effect in Suld, but the death of a sui'kun could have a disastrous effect on the Weave.  But as the Goddess had told them so long ago, the gods had permitted extra sui'kun to be born to protect the world against another Breaking.  The eighth sui'kun had silently been born some month before Tarrin's death, his birth unnoticed until after Tarrin died, and his loss did not damage the Weave.  The burden he had represented had passed on to the infant child, and so the Weave had been protected.

      Even the gods seemed to mourn.  For all three days since the war and Tarrin's death, the skies had been covered by thick clouds, and those clouds reached out to cover the entire world.  It cast the world into dark, gloomy shadow, and everything seeemed unnaturally quiet and subdued.  The seas did not lap against the land in breaking waves.  The wind did not blow.  The animals were not themselves.  Everything seemed nearly surreal in those gloomy days, as if the gods intended to show their grief upon the land, and their mourning could not help but affect the mortals who depended upon them.  Jenna had tried repeatedly to talk to the Goddess, but she would not answer, and even the sense of her that seemed a permanent fixture within the Heart was gone.

      Jenna had tried to find out what happened.  She tried to coax the story out of Jesmind, but her responses were chaotic and made very little sense.  Nobody could speak of such a thing to Jasana, who was so fragile and higly upset; nobody would even want to try.  Any hint or mention of her father sent her into a storm of weeping.  Jenna was grieving just as much as they, but the need to understand how he had died consumed her, the need to know what had happened, the need to understand how he had somehow managed to destroy a god, but there was nobody to give her any answers.  The only reason she knew that he was dead was because Triana said so, and she had no doubt that Triana knew.  She wouldn't say such a thing unless it was true.

      Jenna handled her grief by trying to piece together the story.  His other sisters and friends dealt with it in other ways.  Allia spent nearly every waking hour in the Goddess' courtyard, and nobody knew what she was doing in there, but they all understood that she was observing Selani customs and rites that dealt with the loss of a brother.  Keritanima had little time to mourn with the demands of governing Wikuna, but she would return to the Tower every evening and spend quiet time with Allia, the two drawing strength from one another.  Dolanna spent those days with Jenna, sharing her need to discover what had happened.  Dar had sought comfort from friends, and then, to everyone's surprise, he found solace in the arms of Tiella, who had long harbored a crush on the Arkisian Sorcerer.  Camara Tal had put off her departure for Amazar to counsel their tight group, showing the tenderness and compassion that made her a Priestess, a surprising side of her that the others rarely experienced.  Sarraya spent all her time with Kimmie, hovering around her twin daughters trying to help her, but more often than not just getting in the way.  Azakar remained at Dolanna's side, not wanting to leave her, as if he feared the moment he left she would be attacked.  Miranda stayed by Keritanima's side as well, offering gentle comfort and a shoulder for her to cry on when the emotion of it overwhelmed her, and whenever anyone saw her when she wasn't consoling her friend, her hands were feverishly busy with embroidery pulled from the shoulder satchel that was never very far away from her.  Even Phandebrass had been affected by Tarrin's death, putting aside his studies and beginning to write down all his memories and observations about the enigmatic Were-cat, chronicling his tale, a tale of a reluctant hero who more often that not was worse than the evil he battled, but in the end had somehow carried the day.  Phandebrass became quite enthusiastic about the idea of writing it all down, but he too did not know how it ended, and as was his nature, when confronted with a mystery, the addled Wizard found a new focus in his life to solve it.  So he joined Jenna and Dolanna in the quest for discovering the truth.

      But it was a mystery without answers.  The only ones who were there were Jesmind and Jasana, and they had already exhausted any attempt to get any information from them.  Not even Phandebrass would press the grieving pair, understanding the terrible loss they had experienced, and not wanting to aggravate their pain.  For them, the loss was most keen.  Tarrin had died retrieving his daughter from Val, and Jesmind and Jasana would never be able to forget that he had died for them, and that would invariably cause them to feel guilt for his loss.

      Three days, though it had seemed like an eternity.  Three days of steady cold rain, as the skies wept along with them, three days when Jesmind did not eat, did not sleep, only sat in that chair facing the fireplace, her unblinking eyes lost in the licking flames.  Those three days had already shown on her, as her face seemed slightly gaunt and dark circles had appeared under her striking eyes.  Jasana sat on her mother's lap, thumb claw in her mouth, with a hollow expression on her face, clinging to her mother out of reflex more than anything else.  Jesmind did not hold her daughter, did not even register her presence, her empty eyes lost in the dancing of the fire before her.  Keritanima and Allia were with her, as were Dolanna and Dar, and wherever Keritanima and Dolanna went, Miranda, Binter, Sisska, and Azakar were never more than a few paces away.  They were helping Triana keep an eye on the non-responsive Were-cat.  Triana had warned them that this kind of response was very unpredictable, and at any moment she could snap out of it and fly into a rage.  So they had to keep a very close watch on her, to get Jasana away from her if such a thing happened.  Keritanima was reading from a book, though her heart was not in it.  Allia was sitting on the floor, her eyes closed, trying to find peace within herself through meditation and introspection, though it had been an elusive thing.  Binter and Sisska stood silent watch, ready to face the Were-cat female and hold her down if necessary to give their charges time to escape, and Azakar stood behind Dolanna's chair as she watched Jesmind carefully, though her own eyes also had dark circles beneath them.

      The door opened, and they all looked to see Dar enter.  Tiella was with him, holding his hand.  She had been friends with Tarrin, and the three days since his death had caused her to become interested in his life and those he had left behind, wanting to help in any way she could.  None of them knew her, and that made her very quiet and a little intimidated when in their company.  Dar sometimes forgot the very odd mix their tight circle really was, and some of them were not entirely friendly.  Allia could be especially intimidating, though Keritanima, Camara Tal, and the Vendari were no less so.  Dar brought her in, keeping a tight hold on her hand.  "Any change?" he asked.

      Keritanima shook her head.  "Believe me, if Triana's right, you'll know it when there is one," she told him.

      "How is she?"

      "There's no way to tell," Miranda answered.  "She's starting to get thin.  I hope she comes out of it soon."

      Jasana climbed down from Jesmind's lap and silently shuffled over to Allia.  The Selani opened her eyes, then opened her arms to the Were-cat child.  Jasana climbed into her arms and laid her head against her shoulder, and Allia wrapped her arms around the little Were-cat female protectively.  Dar leaned over and looked at her, giving her a gentle smile.  "Hey, cub, how are you feeling?" he asked in a sweet, gentle manner.

      "I'm okay," she answered in a dull, weary voice.  "I just miss Papa, that's all."

      Keritanima and Allia looked at Dar in surprise.  That was the first time Jasana had offered any kind of voluntary information without breaking into a storm of weeping.

      Dar sat down on the couch behind Allia and put his hand on Jasana's head, ruffing her strawberry blond hair, and Jasana actually gave him a weak, sad little smile.  "Don't worry, cub.  Your mom's going to be alright soon."

      She looked about ready to say something but her ears picked up, and she looked towards the door.  "The shining lady is back," she said with detached interest.

      Dar and Dolanna looked towards the door with Keritanima.  "The Goddess?" Keritanima said.  "She's been missing since--" she cut off quickly, not wanting to upset Jasana.  "Where is she, cub?"

      "With Aunt Jenna," she answered.

      "Well, it's about time," Keritanima growled.  "Maybe now she can tell us just what in the bloody hells happened."

      "I am sure that is exactly what Jenna is asking at this very moment," Dolanna said calmly.

      The door opened, surprising almost everyone, and Kimmie and Mist came in.  Each one of them was holding one of Kimmie's infant daughters, and Eron tagged along behind his mother, batting lightly at the tiny little black-furred tail dangling from under his mother's arm.  "Kimmie," Keritanima greeted.  "How are you?"

      "Tired," she said in a weary voice, and it showed on her face.  Her usually light and gentle expression was drawn, and she too had dark circles under her eyes.  "These too don't seem to want to sleep at the same time."

      "One's bad enough, but you got two," Keritanima teased.

      "It's a burden I'm happy to accept," she replied with a sad smile, sitting down beside Dar.  Mist handed her her other daughter, and Eron tried to climb into Allia's lap with his half-sister.  Allia gave him some room, but Eron didn't want to sit still, and Jasana made no reaction to his attempts to get her attention.  He quickly gave up on the idea of getting Jasana to play with him, and instead ran across the room and jumped up on the back of Jesmind's chair.

      "Eron!  Down!" Mist snapped at him, and he immediately gave up.

      "Sowwy," he said, putting his paws behing his back.

      "This is not play time!" she admonished him.  "Now come over here and sit down!"

      "Yes Mama," he answered sullenly, shuffling over to her.  She picked him up and put him in her lap, then put her arms around him protectively.

      "Can I hold one of them, Kimmie?" Dar asked, looking at her infants.

      "Certainly, Dar," she smiled.  He got up and crossed over to her, picking up one of her babies.

      "They look exactly alike," Dar chuckled as he looked down at the tiny bundle of pink skin and black fur in his arms.  Tiella came over and looked down at the baby in wonder.  "I can't tell them apart."

      "That's Rina," Kimmie told him. "And this is Tara.  They have slightly different scents, even if they do look the same."

      "Well, I don't have that advantage," he said with a gentle smile, looking down at the baby.  "Well hello there, little one," he cooed.  "I'm your uncle Dar.  Boy, do we have plans to spoil you."

      Rina opened her eyes, and those dazzling blue eyes looked up at Dar curiously.  She yawned, her tiny little paws clenching, and then she closed them and promptly went back to sleep.

      "I think you'd better give her back.  They tend to sneeze when they're around humans.  I don't think you want to have that happen in your face, Dar."

      "Ah, no, I think not," he said mildly, then he handed the infant back to Kimmie.

      "Human smell is something they'll have to get used to," Mist said calmly.

      "I hope we don't stink to you, Mistress Mist," Tiella said with just a little anxiety.  She had accepted Tarrin as a Were-cat, but she was still a little intimidated by Mist and the others.

      "Not necessarily stink, but you do take some getting used to," she answered.

      Rina sneezed, and they all looked at her for a minute.  Then Dar laughed.  "Perfect timing, Kimmie," he grinned.

      Jasana's ears picked up again, and she took her cheek off of Allia's shoulder.  "The shining lady is coming towards us," she said.

      Keritanima and Dolanna looked towards the door, Keritanima's fox ears swivelling a little.  "She is right," Dolanna said.

      "Perhaps she comes to see Kimmie's children," Allia offered.  "She has not seen them yet."

      "Maybe," Keritanima said.  "She's coming right this way.  I think she's coming here."

      "Maybe they have news," Mist said.  "Jenna's been going crazy trying to find out what happened."

      "I dare say that Mother would know the answers to all her questions," Dolanna said.

      They watched the door with some curiosity for a moment, until it opened and their questions were answered.  The Goddess entered in the same physical form she always appeared in when she came among them, that of an extraordinarily beautiful woman with hair of all seven colors of the rainbow, glowing white eyes, and a gown that looked to be made of shimmering, solid starlight.  Jenna and Camara Tal were right behind her, and both of them looked wildly excited.

      "There you are!" the Goddess said impatiently.  "I've been looking for you, Kimmie!"

      "Me, my Lady?" Kimmie asked in surprise, sitting up with a baby cradled in each arm.

      "Of course you, you silly girl!" she said.  "Where is he?"

      "Where is he what?"

      "Tarrin, you dink!" she replied quickly.  "It took me three days to talk my parents into this, and I have to get it done before they change their minds!"

      "T-Tarrin?" she asked in confusion.

      "Oh, that's right.  I haven't told you yet, have I?" she asked, then she laughed.  "Silly me.  Forgive me, Kimmie."      

      "What do you mean, my Lady?" she asked in confusion.

      "Call me Mother, child," she said absently.  "When he left, Tarrin left you some things, didn't he?"

      "Y-Yes," she answered.  "A little statue and his braid," she said, her eyes shining over at the bitter memory of it.

      "My clever little kitten!" the Goddess laughed.  "Well, Kimmie, it turns out that he gave you something that just might let us get him back."

      Before Kimmie could say anything, Jesmind was suddenly out of her chair.  She got across the room so fast that nobody even saw her, and she was kneeling before the Goddess, clutching the starlight fabric of her simple gown between trembling fingers, looking up at her with tears streaming down her face.  "But he's dead!" she wailed.  "How can you torture me like this?  I believed in you, and you let him die!"

      "My kitten made his own choices, Jesmind," she said sternly, then she smiled.  "But he's a clever one, my kitten is.  Oh, he's a very clever one.  He had all this planned from the beginning, did you know that?  He left this Tower knowing that he was going to die.  So he took steps."

      "Wh-What happened out there, Mother?" Keritanima asked.  "What did he do?"

      "Tarrin used the Firestaff," she said simply to her.  "You know how he gets when someone hurts his family, and he realized that it was the only way he was going to be able to keep it out of Val's hands.  It only works once, you know.  Tarrin knew that, so he made sure to be the one that used it.  He used the Firestaff on himself, then he destroyed both himself and Val."

      Keritanima's eyes widened, and Dolanna gasped.  "That's what that explosion was," the Goddess continued mildly.  "He destroyed himself, and he did it in a way that it took Val with him.  Both of them are dead.  And if my clever kitten hadn't taken precautions, they would have both been absolutely gone."

      "What do you mean?" Dolanna asked.

      "Part of becoming a god of the Firestaff is that it binds your soul to the power," she told her.  "That's the price you pay for it.  If you die, your soul dies with your body, and you are totally destroyed.  Val no longer exists, daughter.  He is totally and forever destroyed, and there is nothing that can bring him back, not even the power of the gods."

      "B-But Tarrin--"

      The Goddess laughed, cutting her off.  "Yes, my overly clever kitten took steps," she said with a wicked little smile.  "Do you remember Jegojah?"

      "Of course we do," Keritanima said in confusion.

      "What was Jegojah?"

      "He was a Doomwalker," Dolanna answered.

      "What made him so dangerous?"

      "He could not be destroyed," she answered.  "He could simply come back."

      "How did Tarrin beat him?" she asked with a narrow-eyed, highly amused smile.

      "He--"  Dolanna gasped, staring at the Goddess in shock.  "He destroyed Jegojah's Soultrap!"

      That's right," she smirked.  "My kitten is alot smarter than people think he is, Dolanna."

      "What do you mean?" Jesmind asked in a strangled voice, looking up at her.

      "You're going to tear my dress, Jesmind!" the Goddess rebuked her mildly.  "Stand up."

      She did so quickly, wringing her paws together as Jasana clamored for her mother to pick her up.  She did so, stroking her daughter's hair nervously as she awaited an explanation.  Keritanima had already figured it out, laughing in delight, and Dolanna had a broad smile on her face.

      "Did Tarrin ever tell you about Jegojah, child?" the Goddess asked Jesmind, who only mutely nodded.  "Well, he beat him by freeing his soul from a device called a Soultrap.  It's a magical creation that imprisons a soul.  Tarrin knew that he was going to die, Jesmind, so he took precautions.  I don't think he knew if it was going to work, but he tried.  He had a little statue that he was very fond of--"         

      "The little cat!" Jesmind interrupted, remembering his fondness for it.

      "That's right.  He wove a spell into it that was a very shaky copy of the magic of Jegojah's Soultrap, and he set it so it would last for exactly three months.  That was a clever move on his part.  If he'd made it permanent, and it worked, his soul would have been trapped inside it for all eternity.  He set it so it would snare his soul in the instant he died and trap it inside the statue."

      "Did it work?" Jesmind asked in a strangled tone, wanting to reach out for the Goddess again.

      "Oh, yes, it worked, Jesmind," the Goddess said with a smile.  "When Tarrin destroyed himself, the Soultrap activated, and it captured his soul before the power of the destruction of the rest of him could destroy his soul.  It's a little complicated to explain, but let's just say that part of the reason Val's soul was destroyed was because it had nowhere to go after the body was destroyed.  Tarrin's soul did have somewhere to go, and that's what saved him from the same fate as Val.  Tarrin's soul is inside that little cat.  And he left Kimmie his braid, a piece of himself, and we can use that to recreate the body that was destroyed when he died.  He'll have no memory of anything that happened after he cut off his braid, but it will be Tarrin, my daughter," she told her gently and warmly.  "But don't worry.  His memory still exists in the Weave, and I can give everything back to him right up to where he used the Firestaff on himself.  Those memories he does not need," she said emphatically.

      "He, he planned this from the start?" Jesmind asked in disbelief.

      "And they say that my kitten couldn't make a plan to save his life.  He proved them all wrong!" the Goddess laughed in delight.  "He made a plan that did just that!"

      Jesmind looked at her with tears in her eyes.  "Y-Y-You mean--"

      "I mean just that, my child," she said gently, putting a hand on her shoulder.  "As soon as Kimmie gives me the Soultrap and the braid, I can start work on the magic to restore him.  In just a few hours, Tarrin is going to be back.  And he's going to get every reward I ever promised him and more.  I have never been so proud of any of my children as I am of him."

      Jesmind began crying uncontrollably right along with Jesmind, and both Kimmie and Mist were weeping up a storm, Mist trying to hug her bond-child around her son and Kimmie's infant daughters.  Tiella hugged Dar with excited delight, and Keritanima and Allia were sharing a crushing hug of joy with Jenna.  Dolanna had her hands to her face, with a teary-eyed smile on her face, and Miranda was jumping up and down in joy, holding onto Azakar's hands as the Knight grinned foolishly at her.  Mist suddenly pushed her son off her lap and reached for the babies.  "Kimmie, go!" she said quickly. "Show the Goddess where you have those things!"

      "Right now!" Kimmie laughed in happy excitement.  "I'll show you where I have them, my Lady!"

      "Call me Mother, child," she corrected absently.

      Kimmie led an excited procession that got every black-garbed katzh-dashi and servant whispering in confusion and excitement as they passed.  Kimmie had to restrain herself to keep from running, and all of Tarrin's friends and family anxiously followed behind the stately Goddess as she followed the Were-cat female.  She took them to her room, and she ran across the room and knelt in front of the chest where she kept her spellbooks and other mystical supplies.  "I wrapped them in silk and put them in here," she announced excitedly, fumbling with the lock.  She got it open and reached under a bag of spell components.  "I don't know why I did," she announced.  "Something just told me to keep them hidden, so I did."

      "Probably a spell that Tarrin put on the Soultrap, to keep a Sorcerer from noticing it," the Goddess mused.

      She pulled out a bundle wrapped in white silk, and carefully unwrapped it.  The braid came out first, which she handed to the Goddess, and then she stood and unwrapped the cat.  The black metal statue was just as it had been before, but now its two emerald eyes were glowing with a steady greenish radiance.  The Goddess smiled broadly when she saw that statue, reaching out for it with steady hands as Kimmie's trembling paws offered it up to her.

      "It's working, alright," the Goddess said, carassing the statuette gently.  "The eyes are glowing because Tarrin's soul is inside it.  A visible sign to Kimmie that something about the statue is unusual.  There are instructions in the weaving of his spell, too.  Clever, my kitten," she said in appreciation.  "He even left behind clues, in case I couldn't tell you what to do."

      She cradled the statue to her breast lovingly, then turned and swept towards the door.  "I want all of you to go find something to do and don't bother me," she announced.  "I have to do this in the Chamber of the Heart.  I don't want any distractions.  This will not be easy, not even for me, and I'm sure you'd find the process to be quite gruesome if I allowed you to watch."

      "Let me post guards, Mother," Jenna called, rushing after her.  "I'll make sure nobody bothers you."

      "Then come with me, daughter.  The rest of you, just go find a book or something and read it.  It's going to take me a few hours to do this."

      The Goddess and Jenna scurried out, leaving all of them standing in Kimmie's room.  Then Dar laughed.  "She tells us she can revive Tarrin, and now she tells us to wait?" he asked.  "That was cruel!"

      "I'll take the punishment," Kimmie said emphatically.  "It'll be the longest few hours of my life, but it'll be worth waiting a million years if it means she can bring Tarrin back!"

      Jesmind hugged her daughter tightly, then she began to cry once more, a wracking sob that released all the pent-up emotions inside her.  Kimmie hugged her gently, and the taller Were-cat female buried her face in Kimmie's shoulder.  Kimmie looked at them all with gentle eyes, stroking Jesmind's hair.  "Why don't you go get Jesmind something to eat?" she offered in a compassionate voice.  "She'll need some food when she's ready to eat."

      "Bring her to her apartment when you're ready," Camara Tal told her with a warm smile.  "I'll have everything you need there.  We'll make sure she spends these hours in complete comfort and security."

 

      For some reason, he was getting very tired of waking up like this.

      But it had been strangely distant this time.  There was no climbing out of a black pit of nothingness as it had usually been.  This time, it had been like coming down from a great height, as if he'd been floating in a warm, welcoming sea of gentle water or heavy air, a featureless place.  It was like he'd been able to defy gravity, like he was sinking back into a reality from which he had found a temporary escape.  He felt strangely heavy, but not necessarily tired.  He felt oddly disjointed, but he was sure that he hadn't been injured.  He felt no pain, no discomfort, only a strange tingling all over, as if his entire body had fallen asleep.  He felt decidedly odd, but they were familiar sensations that just seemed slightly out of place, and were even now scurrying to where they should be, which helped lift the fog that was fuzzing his mind.

      There was...no memory.  He couldn't quite remember where he was or how he'd gotten there.  As he felt the tingling begin to subside, he tried to recall where he was and what had happened.  There was...a fight.  He remembered that.  A dark form was there, and it struck at him with a power that seemed to defy rational explanation, but he had somehow managed to stand against it.  Then there was an image of the four moons...and then nothing.  Nothing until just now.

      He became aware of his senses.  He was in a large room that had a strange feeling in it.  It was perfectly warm, but there were very few scents in the room.  He could smell stone, familiar stone, the stone of the Tower.  He could smell down and soft linen, and with a mental start, he realized that he could smell the distinct scent that belonged to the icon of the Goddess.  He couldn't smell anything else, but he could feel linen against his bare skin, a very slight weight atop him, probably from a sheet.  He was laying on a soft mattress of some kind, with a silk pillow filled with down under his head.  He could feel the Weave around him, and he realized with some surprise that he was laying directly within the greatest of all the Conduits, the one that ran through the very center of the Tower.  That was the fuzzy feeling, the feel of all that power flowing around him, through him, nibbling at his awareness as it passed, feeling both invigoratingly unusual and wonderfully familiar at the same time.

      He realized through a mind that only just seemed to be coming back into focus that he was within the Chamber of the Heart, half a world away from where he was supposed to be.

      Dimly, more and more of the memory of that came back to him.  He had travelled to Gora Umadar to recover his daughter.  He remembered that, remembered the crossing of Ungardt, the journey through the cave where he had made the magic belts, then across the mountains running on the top of the snow.  He remembered the quick and nervous crossing of the tundra, and then they were there.  He went through it in his mind, remembering the journey to the pyramid, the six-armed Demoness--her name was Shaz'baket--and facing Val.  He remembered how calm he'd been, how strangely calm.  He was facing a god, and he was calm.

      He was calm because he had a plan.

      The plan.  Of course.  Now he could think about it freely, since he obviously wasn't there anymore.  He had to get Val mad, distract him, then somehow survive that moment when the Goddess' had to withdraw from him to bring the army.  Then he had to hold off Val long enough to--

      --of course.  That must have happened.  He had no memory of it, but one moment he had the Firestaff in his paws, and the next, here he was, laying in yet another bed waking up from an unconscious state.  That could only mean that he did do it, and if he was still here, then--

      "Yes, kitten," the choral voice of the Goddess announced, in quite an amused tone.  "The Soultrap worked."

      He opened his eyes, and saw her looking down at him with an expression of great love and fierce pride.  She was sitting on the bed beside him, her gentle hands stroking the hair back from his face.  "You used the Firestaff and became a god, my son," she said gently.  "And then you destroyed both Val and yourself.  The Soultrap worked, and it claimed your soul before it was destroyed."

      "But you said that my soul would die with me," he whispered in a voice that seemed strangely raspy, and was still just a little weak.  "I remember that."

      "And still you went through with it, despite knowing that," she said with a loving smile.  "It shows how very brave you are, my sweet kitten.  Even facing total destruction, you were willing to do what you thought you had to do.  I'm very proud of you."

      "I, I didn't do it for you, Mother," he admitted.  "Are Jesmind and Jasana alright?"

      "They will be when they see you," she told him.  "It's been three days, kitten.  Jesmind took your death very hard, and Jasana's been absolutely inconsolable.  She blames herself for everything that happened, and she thought that it was her fault you died."

      "It wasn't her fault."

      "She won't believe that until you say it to her," she told him.  "How do you feel?"

      "Strange," he admitted.

      "That's to be expected," she said, patting him on the shoulder.  "This isn't you."

      "Excuse me?"

      She laughed.  "Well, it is, but it isn't," she elaborated.  "Remember how it feels to lose a limb and grow a new one?  How it tingles for a bit?"

      He nodded.

      "Isn't that how your whole body feels right now?"

      He nodded again, then he started and gaped at her.

      She grinned.  "There wasn't enough left of either you or Val to thread through a needle, kitten.  I had to work with what I had, and the only thing that was left of you was the hair you gave Kimmie.  That hair grew the rest of your body.  With a little help," she winked.

      "You mean I'm in a different body?"

      "No, it's you, kitten," she told him.  "It may not be the same body you had before you died, but it was made from the body you did have.  That makes it your body."

      "I have no idea what that means," he said seriously.

      She laughed in delight, patting his cheek.  "Just trust me, kitten," she told him.  "In just a few minutes, the tingling will be gone, and you'll be just as you were when you cut off your braid.  And everything works.    Fixing you didn't damage your magical powers.  They're the same as they were when you cut off the braid. In fact, they're probably even stronger now."

      "I don't feel any different."

      "It has nothing to do with your body, kitten, it has to do with your mind.  You showed us all why you're the Mi'Shara, my kitten.  I told you long ago that they never truly understood what it means.  Do you know what it means, Tarrin?  What it truly means?"

      "No."

      "The loosest version is the said as the Man Who Once Was.  Most thought it meant that it was the man who was once a man, a creature not human but who had once been.  The translation in its true state is The man who was once a man, but becomes more than a man."

      "That's too many words."

      "Yes, it has to do with the delicate subtleties of the Urzani language," she told him.  "That term is from ancient Urzani, a short expression with a greater meaning.  Did you know that?  That it's ancient Urzani?"

      He shook his head.

      "I'll have Spyder teach it to you," she said absently.  "It's a very subtle thing, kitten, but its meaning is quite different from how it sounds.  It's a peculiarity of the language, and deals a great deal in metaphor.  Ancient Urzani always was a poetic language," she said distantly.  "What it means is the man who reaches past the boundaries of man.  The Urzani felt that whenever one crossed a significant boundary in his life, like achieving a major goal, or learning a great skill, he ceased being what he was and became something different than what he was before.  That's true, when you think about it, but the Urzani had a surprisingly firm grip on things like that.  So, you had to understand the subtle intricacies of the ancient Urzani mind to truly understand that term."

      She reached out and lightly tapped in on the nose, much like he did with Jasana.  "It means that of all the mortals in this world, you have the rarest of all gifts, kitten.  You can reach beyond the restrictions of mortal kind and touch on powers never meant for ones such as you."

      "I don't understand."

      "It's not that hard to understand, kitten.  There are some mortals, just a handful that have ever lived in the entire history of this world, that have had the ability to transcend mortal restrictions.  You have within you the potential to do almost anything, to achieve magical feats that no other mortal could ever hope to duplicate.  Spyder is one of them.  You are another."

      "I, I think I see," he said.  "That's why I can use all four orders of magic, and every time I've needed to be able to do something, I just seem to be able to do it."

      "Not quite," she told him.  "Your ability to use the orders of magic is because you're a Were-cat, not because you are a Mi'Shara.  When the need is greatest, kitten, you have always been able to reach deep inside yourself and touch on magical powers that no other mortal can bring to bear.  That is how you survived against Val, kitten.  He threw his power at you, but you found within yourself the power to withstand his attack."

      "But I wouldn't have lasted long."

      "No, you wouldn't have," she agreed.  "You are a mortal, kitten, where Val was a god.  Even though the power you brought to bear was more than any mortal could ever bring, it was still restricted by the endurance of your frail mortal body.  But it lasted you long enough, and for a moment, you proved to be the match of a god.  Val underestimated you, kitten.  He couldn't look past the base fact that you are a mortal, and that turned out to be his fatal mistake.  What he overlooked was that you are the Mi'Shara.  He was beaten by his own arrogance.  Then again, I think he had a little help in that," she winked.

      "I learned that lesson the hard way," he said bluntly.  "I thought for once, it would be nice if that cannonball was dropped on someone else's foot."

      The Goddess laughed, patting his cheek fondly.  "And he definitely underestimated that mind of yours, my kitten.  You saw what nobody else could see.  You saw that though we are gods, we are still creatures of emotion.  And not even our godly might can change that.  You played your hand well, my son, and I am so proud of you I want to shout it from every rooftop in the world.  You went face to face with a god, and you won."

      "I, I thought of that because of all the times I've talked to you," he told her, a bit sheepishly.  "I saw that even though you are a god, you did seem to act very human-like, and you did have emotions.  I remember each and every time I made you mad, and when I made you happy, and even a few times when I scared you.  I realized that Val had to have those same emotions, and that was the only way I could get at him."

      "I act in a human manner so you can understand me, kitten," she told him with a smile.  "But in a way, you were right.  Behind this icon and inside my true self, I'm still a creature of emotion.  I love, and hate, and fear, and laugh, and mourn, just like you.  It's our emotions that connect us with the mortals, kitten.  It's the tying bond that links mortal and god, the one way we can look upon mortals and understand them, even though you are to us what a mouse would be to you.  A simplistic creature barely worthy of notice.  But you understand the mouse, because you understand how the mouse would feel if you pulled its tail, or gave it cheese and pampered it, or set a cat on it.  And when you study the mouse, you discover that it really wasn't as primitive as you first believed."

      "That's not very good for my ego, Mother," he told her.

      She laughed.  "I'm just making an example, kitten," she winked.  "Val saw you as a mouse, but he made the fatal mistake of thinking that the lowly mouse didn't have the ability to think.  So when the mouse bit him on the ankle, he lost his composure, furious that the lowly creature would dare defy him.  Little did he realize that the mouse was biting him on the ankle to keep him from noticing the tiger pouncing on him from behind."

      As always, the Goddess phrased things that were very simple to visualize, and conveyed tremendous meaning at the same time.  Tarrin nodded in understanding and looked up at her with serious eyes.  "What is it, my kitten?" she asked.

      "I hope they're not angry with me," he divulged.  "Jesmind and them, I mean.  About what I did."

      She looked at him, then laughed in utter delight.  "My son, right now they couldn't possibly be angry with you, no matter what," she told him.  "Now, I can't say that's going to hold true after Jesmind calms down and thinks things through, but for right now, just enjoy the moment," she winked.  Then she looked towards the gated entrance.  "Well, Triana just arrived, so I guess we can trot you out and let them fall all over you," she announced.

      "Triana?  Where did she go?"

      "The Council of Hierarchs, something of the ruling body of the Druids, summoned her, and she couldn't disobey," she answered.  "They wanted to see Jula, and get some answers, so she took Jula with her.  I sent word to her about what I did here, and she basicly cursed out the Hierarchs for making her come and immediately started back.  She was in such a hurry that she forgot Jula."

      "She didn't!" Tarrin gasped.

      "She did," the Goddess laughed.  "Jula's patient, kitten.  I told her just to hang tough, and I'd come and get her when I had the chance."

      "I can't believe that she did that!"

      "Triana's not perfect, kitten.  She'll be the first one to tell you that.  I'm going to go collect up Jula as soon as I rest up a bit from restoring you.  She'll be back by tomorrow."

      "That's good."

      "Well, kitten, I must admit, I'm very impressed with you.  I never thought you'd think of using a Soultrap."

      "I'm just surprised it worked," he chuckled ruefully as he felt the tingling completely subside.  He sat up in the soft bed the Goddess had made for him, feeling weirdly weak and strong at the same time.  "I never thought that weave I put in the cat statue was going to hold for three months.  I figured it would have unravelled long before now."

      "Don't sell yourself short, kitten.  You're not just a power spellweaver," she smiled.  "You've got some very formidable skill in the subtle art of delicate spellcraft.  You're a very well-rounded Sorcerer.  And as soon as you adjust to your new body, you will be again."

      "You said I was the same as I was before."

      "You are, but it's going to be like breaking in a new pair of boots, kitten," she said with a wink. "As soon as you get used to it, as you break yourself in, you'll be back to your old self in no time.  In fact, you may be better than you were before.  I wasn't about to let a chance like this go."

      "What did you do?"

      "Oh, nothing," she said with an insincere look of innocence, putting her hands behind her back.

      Tarrin laughed.

      She giggled and gave him a wolfish smile.  "Honestly, I didn't really do anything, but think about it, kitten," she said seriously.  "You were a god.  It may be lost to you now, but your soul remembers, and it has changed you.  In time, as your soul grounds itself into this new body and feels as comfortable in it as a soldier in an old pair of well-worn boots, you may start to exhibit certain, abilities, that you didn't have before.  You were once a god, Tarrin, and though your divinity was destroyed, there may very well be some faint traces of it left in you that gives you powers beyond what you already possess.  They would barely be more than a pittance in the reckoning of a god, nothing that would make even the weakest Younger God worry about you trying to usurp his position, but in the mortal world, they might be significant.  But only time will tell if that comes to pass.  We had to inventa new term for you, kitten.  Darian is calling you a demigod, a mortal with traits that are decidedly godly.  I rather like the term.  You're something like an Avatar now, kitten, but an Avatar of your own creation."

      Tarrin had never considered that, but in all the other information swirling in his mind, he gave it very little weight or importance.  That would be something to worry about when, or if, it became a tangible issue.  "If I don't like it, can you take it away?"

      She nodded.  "But I may not want to, and you may not either," she answered.  "Having someone like you around may be handy,  kitten.  There may come a time when Spyder needs some assistance in her role as Guardian, and I know she'd like to take a vacation.  You could fill in for her when she needs to take a little break.  Besides, you've proved that you're a formidable guardian in your own right, and we have something that we need you to protect."

      "What?" he asked uncertainly.

      With a smile, she held out her hand, and a black metal shaeram appeared in her hand.  Instantly, he recognized it.  It was his.

      "H-How--" he gasped, but she cut him off.

      "It turns out that this metal is quite a bit more indestructible than we believed," she smiled.  "Both your amulet and your sword survived.  Don't ask me how, because even we don't understand exactly how, but they did.  The Firestaff is still inside the amulet.  Ahiriya thinks the Firestaff protected itself from destruction, and I'm rather inclined to agree.  We've tried to destroy it before, but it just won't die.  I think the Firestaff took steps to defend itself from your suicide attack, and it must have caught up the sword with it when it moved to protect the amulet.  The conjunction was still taking place, and though it had already used its power on you, it did still have access to some pretty powerful energy.  The Firestaff does seem to have a kind of sentience about it, and it must have realized what was about to happen, and took steps.  So, we seem to have an opening for a Guardian of the Firestaff, my kitten.  Think you're up to the job?  You only have to do real work about once every five thousand years or so.  The pay's lousy, but at least you have good hours."

      Tarrin laughed, laughed long and hard.  All that work, thinking he'd destroyed Val and he was also taking the Firestaff with him, and the damned thing managed to survive!  How ironic!

      Still laughing, he reached out with his paw, and the Goddess reached down and placed the shaeram on his smooth pad.  She put her other hand underneath it, and he closed his paw around the shaeram and her hand both.  He looked deeply into her eyes, those glowing eyes, and he just knew that he saw the love for him there, and could feel nothing but love for her in return.  She was his Goddess, his Mother, and he would do anything she asked.  Not because he had to, but because he loved her.

      "I am your mother now, kitten," she said richly.  "I made this body, and I held your soul inside me when I took it from your Soultrap and placed it and your memories inside you.  In a way, I bore you into this new life, and that makes you as much my son as you are Elke Kael's son.  So when you call me Mother, I want you to know that that's how I will always feel when you say it.  You are my son, and I love you.  And I will always be here for you."

      "I love you, Mother," he said simply smiling up at her, still holding onto her hand, swallowing it up in his huge paw. "And I can't think of any honor greater than you thinking of me as your son."

      "You and me, we share a special bond, now, my kitten," she smiled.  "You were once a god.  For a moment, you were my equal.  How does that make you feel?"

      "It makes me glad that I can't remember it," he said honestly.   "I don't think I have any business remembering what that was like, or you wouldn't have sealed away some of the memories I gained when I was turned."

      "Such a wise kitten," she smiled.  "Now then, let's get you dressed and let you get out there and keep everyone from going crazy with anticipation," she announced.  "There are quite a few people who are very anxious to see you, my son.  Let's not keep them waiting."

      She pulled her hand free, still holding the shaeram, and then gently and meaningfully took hold of the chain.  He bowed his head, and she slid it over his head, settled it around his neck, putting it back where it belonged.  It felt immediately right for it to be there, and he reached up and touched it fondly with a single finger.  She reached out, and his black-bladed sword appeared in her hands.  She offered it to him, and he took it from her carefully, so as not to cut her by accident.  In the instant of that touch he felt something...different about the blade.  It seemed no different, but there was something lurking within it, something powerful, something that defied his ability to make sense of it.  He looked to the Goddess sharply, and she only smiled.

      "As it changed you, so it changed your sword," she told him.  "You poured your power and awareness into it.  When a god does that, the object is forever afterward different.  It gains powers of its own, sometimes takes on its own mentality.  That, my kitten, is how a god makes an artifact.  Even though you're a mortal again, this sword is yours, and it won't let anyone else use it.  It will always be there to help you when you need it, but remember, kitten, that it's as much an asset to you as it is your responsibility to keep it from doing harm."

      Tarrin touched the blade of his prized sword reverently.  An artifact.  A unique weapon of great power, created by a god to perform a function or service.   This sword had been created by him, probably to help him fight Val.  And now it was his again, his prize, and also his responsibility.

      Tarrin wondered absently why in the world he chose the sword.  He was much more comfortable with a staff.  Then again, like any smart warrior, he knew that there was a time to use a specific weapon.  Maybe at that time, facing that enemy, he felt that the sword was the better choice.

      He was wasting time.  He wanted to see his mate and daughter, and make sure everyone knew he was alright.  "Has Kimmie had her baby yet?" he asked as he got out of the bed.  The Goddess made clothes appear in her hands, and he took a pair of leather trousers from her that were so soft they were like silk.

      "She did," she answered as Tarrin put them on.  "But I want that to be her surprise, not mine.  So you'll just have to wait and see."

      "Spoilsport," he teased as he took a supple vest from her and pulled it on.  He pulled his braid out from under the vest, and realized quite suddenly that the braid was the only thing about him that was from the original him.  Everything else was new, though it felt more and more after every passing second like it was the old him.  Breaking in, the Goddess had called it.  Well, he was doing that already.

      "I would be for Kimmie if I told you," she responded.  "Now come on, kitten.  They're waiting for us."

      Tarrin tamped his feet a few times, getting the very last of the tingling out of him, and then started towards the ornate iron gate.  He remembered that gate well, for it had been the obstacle that allowed Tarrin to strike the first blow against Jegojah.  Much of that fight had happened right here in this chamber.  Alot of history here, he realized as the Goddess opened the gate, and he stepped through it, stepping into the long passage that led out into the Tower proper.

      They got out into the circular passage surrounding the Heart, and Jenna jumped off of a chair and rushed towards him, tears flying from her eyes.  She cried out his name, and he leaned down and let her jump into his arms.  He held her close as she gripped him tightly, desperately, and he took in her scent with eyes closed and let himself revel in embracing his sister.

      "I can't believe it!" Jenna said as she pushed away enough to put her hands on his face, relying on his hold on her to keep her from tumbling to the floor.  Her feet were dangling more than two spans off the polished stone of the floor.  "Mother said you were dead, but that she could--that you--oh, Tarrin!  You're home!" she cried in joy, then hugged him again.

      "Not quite home, but it's good to be back with you, Jenna," he told her gently, patting her on the back.  "What happened after I left?"

      "What do you remember?"

      "Not much," he answered.  "What happened at the battle?"

      "Well, there really wasn't a battle," she laughed ruefully.  "Right about when we really committed to it, you and Val started tearing the earth apart, and everyone had to run for their lives.  Months of planning wasted.  Kang and Darvon were very, very mad."

      Tarrin laughed.  "I guess they would be," he agreed.  "What happened to the Goblinoids?"

      "What few survived are probably still up there," she answered.  "After you--well, after Val was destroyed, the gods brought us back here.  We didn't have time to hunt down the survivors and finish them off.  We wouldn't have even if we had time.  Everyone was pretty much well stunned by what we saw."

      "What did you see?"

      "Let's just say that when you kill someone, brother, you really don't fool around," she told him with a slight smile.  "Now then, I think Mother is about to scold me for holding us up here, so let's go see the others.  They're all waiting in Jesmind's apartment."

      Tarrin set Jenna down, and after the Goddess waved them onward impatiently.  They walked behind her, and Tarrin reflected on what the Goddess had told him in the Chamber of the Heart.  He guessed she was right.  An event like the one he had come through couldn't help but change him.  But he didn't feel any different, and from the way she talked, the change in him would be one that would matter only to someone like Phandebrass, someone nitpickingly precise.  He may have been a god, but that had only been for a couple of moments, and thankfully it was over.  The god Tarrin had destroyed himself, and the mortal Tarrin had managed to scrape out his own survival with yet another wild, half-formed plan that somehow seemed to work.  They were two different people as far as he was concerned, and hopefully, none of that other stuff that the Goddess mentioned would happen.  After all, it was now over.  Val was dead, the day of the Firestaff's activation had come and gone, and he no longer had any need of power or position.  He had braved the rapids for two years, and now it was time to float on the gentle currents in the wide pool at the bottom of those rapids.  There may be rapid further down the river that was his life's course, but for now, he would enjoy the peace and quiet of being done.

      The suffering was over.  Now, the living began.

      Sorcerers stopped in their tracks and gaped at the tall, tall Were-cat as he passed, looking like they'd seen a ghost.  Servants and guards melted out of the way of the Goddess, looking pale and nervous.  They probably knew that a god was going by, and nobody could look at her and not be utterly awed.  Tarrin ignored them, keeping a gentle hold on Jenna's hand, just happy that he'd been given a second chance.  He couldn't remember being dead, and for some reason he was glad of that.  It was best if he never knew what that was like, better to only know of what was before him.  That was why he was glad he had no memory of being a god.  That way there was no grounds for comparison, no knowledge of anything except what he had, what he was, and all the joys and hardships that went along with it.  It was the bliss of ignorance, and it was an ignorance that he embraced willingly.  He wanted nothing detracting from the experiences of this life, his life.  He wanted no veil of regret distorting things as he watched his daughter grow up, as he spent all the time with Jesmind that he could before time and their Were natures pushed them apart.  He wanted to enjoy it for all it was worth, never knowing if other states of being he had experienced were actually better than what he had.  Being happy with the simple pleasures and trials of being a mortal.  To him, grounded in the Were instincts of celebrating life, there could be nothing better.  The same qualities that had made him the best mortal suited for defending the Firestaff were the qualities that made him reject the memory of what he had once been, made him blissfully content to return to a simple life of uncomplicated happiness.

      All he had ever wanted out of life was a cozy house in a meadow surrounded by the beauty and wonder of the forest.  A place where he could simply live.  And he meant to have just that.  There was nothing stopping him now, nothing holding him back, no vows or missions or duty standing in his way.  He was free now, free to do anything he wanted, free to pursue the life for which he had yearned.

      He was free.

      Never before had he found such joy in such a simple thing.  Service to the Goddess was a sweet bondage, but she understood his nature, and she knew that he would be happiest when he was in service to no one but himself.  He loved his Goddess, and he had served her needs over his own willingly, but now she no longer needed her Champion.   There was nobody left for him to fight.  He would always be there when she needed him, and she knew it, but for now, he was certain that she'd be perfectly happy to leave him alone, to enjoy the simple life of a Were-cat who had had enough of the human world and its irritatingly chaotic bustling.  It was time to go back to where he felt he belonged, to the place where everything was simple and pure and wonderfully slow and boring.

      It was time to go home.

      Before he realized it, he was standing at the door to Jesmind's apartment.  The Goddess and Jenna had stepped aside, and both of them were smiling at him encouragingly.  They wanted him to go in first.  Well, that was just fine with him.  He was just a little intimidated by what he was going to face in that room, but he knew that it would be wonderful.  He put his paw on the doorhandle confidently, and then swung the door open.

      For a brief instant, nobody noticed the opening of the door, and Tarrin took in the scene before him.  Jesmind had Jasana in her arms, her back currently to him as she paced to and fro in front of the fireplace.  Eron was trailing along behind her easily, his eyes fixated on the twitching tip of Jesmind's tail.  Keritanima and Allia sat with Miranda around a small table playing cards with Dolanna, as Azakar, Binter, and Sisska stood close to them.  Phandebrass had a book in his lap, scribbling in it furiously as Camara Tal, Koran Tal, Dar and Tiella were gathered around Mist and Kimmie.  Each of them was holding something very small in their arms, something over which Sarraya was hovering.  Triana stood silently at the door-sized window that led out onto the balcony, her tail motionless as she gazed out to the city beyond.  Auli was there as well, along with Allyn, and they were looking at a piece of paper in the hands of Rallix, the badger Wikuni that was Keritanima's husband.  Ianelle was with them, pointing to something on it and looking at the thin Wikuni male with steady eyes.  Darvon and Kang were standing near the large tea table by the fire, leaning over it with the Demoness Shiika, arguing over some kind of military tactic or something similar as the Demoness watched and learned from the two towering military minds with narrow-eyed interest.  For a brief moment, Tarrin felt the emptiness of the two who were supposed to be there.  Jula was missing, left behind by a forgetful Triana, but at least he could get her back.  But Faalken was gone, and there seemed to be a faint quality about the room that spoke of him, as if he watched from his eternal reward and celebrated with them.  In a way, Tarrin realized, the cherubic Knight would have found some reason to think that all this was rather funny.

      So many people in such a small room, but it was the two that were missing that struck mostly in his mind and soul.

      The first one to notice him was Jasana.  She had her chin on her mother's shoulder, and she raised her eyes and saw him standing in the doorway.  She squealed suddenly and thrashed against her mother, startling her badly enough to make her let go.  Every eye locked on Jasana, which kept all of them from noticing him.  Jasana hit the ground running, and her overjoyed exclamation rung like the sweetest music in his ears.

      "Papa!!!!!!"

      Tarrin knelt down, and he collected up his precious child in arms trembling in joy and relief.  He held onto her tightly, taking in her scent, holding her close, and in tears in his joy at seeing her.  He had asacrificed everything for this priceless child, this wondrous gift in his arms, and he would do it all again without hesitation.  All the pain and anxiety over having her stolen from him, of not knowing if she was well, of knowing she was in the hands of his enemies, it all poured out of him, poured out of him and was forgotten as it found release, as he held his daughter in his arms and knew that she was safe.  He put his paw on her head with exquisite tenderness and just held her for that moment, one of the happiest moments of his life.

      Jesmind crashed into them, her claws digging into him as she crushed their daughter between them.  Tarrin put an arm around her and embraced her, kissed her, heard her loud cries and sobs of joy.  Other scents, other hands, crowded in on him, all over him, sisters and friends and dear travelling companions crowding around him, touching him, voices calling out in happiness and relief.  His daughter in his arms, his mate by his side, and surrounded by friends and family, Tarrin knew that he would never find happiness and contentment any better than this, that this was better than anything, even being a god.  Nothing compared to the power of the love held between him and these special people, and in their reunion he knew that everything was well, and everything was good, and there could be nothing better in all the universe than this.

      He pried Jesmind off of him enough to embrace in turn both his sisters, and then all of his friends, as their excited voices whirled around and around in his ears.  Keritanima was crying with joy, but stately Allia allowed no more than a single tear to well up in one eye.  There were strangers present, and she had the honor of the clan to maintain, after all.  She'd save her very emotional outburst for when they were in proper company.  That almost made Tarrin laugh, but that was his sister, and he wouldn't change her for anything.  Camara Tal gave him a warm hug, and he could sense the life growing inside her.  Dar clapped him on the back, having to reach up quite a bit to do so, and tiny Sarraya settled for hugging his neck while he was nuzzling Miranda.  He put down Jasana and picked up Eron, but his daughter clung to his leg as his son kissed him on the cheek and flung his tiny arms around his neck.  He gave Mist a fierce hug, and then folded Dolanna in a gentle embrace that was full of warmth.  He got crushed by Triana's powerful arms, making him wheeze and nearly breaking his ribs, then wrapped Kimmie in his arms and made a point of putting a paw on her now flat belly with loving eyes.  He embraced Auli and Tiella in turns, then shook the hands of Rallix and Allyn and Koran Tal.  Kang saluted him sharply, but Darvon gave the Were-cat a rough hug full of pride.  Ianelle kissed him on each cheek, and he even found it in himself to reach out and put his arm around Shiika, in her wingless, human form, braving her unnatural scent.

      "Hold on, hold on!" the Goddess said happily.  "I think our kitten has some new people to meet!"  She stepped forward with two tiny bundles in her arms, held protectively, and Shiika moved aside enough to let him see those two precious infants in her arms.  Tarrin's heart melted when he saw two exceptionally tiny little faces, pink and soft, tiny little Were-cat infants with dazzling, deep blue eyes.  Just like their mother.  His paws trembled when he reached out and took one of them, touching the tiny baby's forehead with the tip of his huge finger.  His paw was bigger than this exquisitely tiny little child, branding her scent into his memory just as he had for Jasana and Eron.

      "S-She's so small!" he said in wonder.

      "They were born a bit early, kitten, and there were two of them sharing space in Kimmie's belly.  That didn't give them much room to grow.  But don't worry, they'll both be strapping tall.  In no time, they'll be normal sized babies.  They just need a little nourishment and some loving attention, that's all."

      Kimmie took the other infant and held it up so he could see her.  "This is Tara," she told him with a rich voice.  "And the one in your arms is Rina.  They're your daughters, Tarrin."

      "They're beautiful," he whispered in joy, looking down at them.

      "And they're going to be just as spoiled rotten as Jasana and Eron!" Keritanima announced in glee, sweeping Jasana up into her arms and twirling her in the air.  "You have a queen as an aunt, cub!  I can shower you with all sorts of wonderful gifts, and I mean to do just that!  I'm going to spoil you so bad your father is going to be furious with me!"

      "Spoil my son and answer to me, Kerri," Mist warned, but she was smiling.

      "Fine then.  Just as soon as I finish spoiling him, you can send me the bill.  I'm a rich woman, Mist.  I can pay it."

      That actually made Mist laugh.

      "It's so good to see you, my mate," Jesmind said with her heart in her eyes, looking up at him.  "When I thought I'd lost you, I--"she broke off, looking away from him.

      "Well, you didn't," he told her gently.  "I knew this might happen, so I took some precautions.  Now I'm glad I did."

      "You didn't think it was going to happen, you knew it was going to happen!" she suddenly shouted at him.  "How could you do that and not tell us, Tarrin?  You worried me to death!" she shouted, accenting her outrage by punching him in the shoulder.

      So much for teary demureness.

      "He couldn't tell anyone because Val would have seen it in your minds," the Goddess told her.  "He didn't even tell me.  Does that tell you how secret he had to keep it?"

      "But it's not fair!" she shouted indignantly.

      "Sometimes fair and necessary don't mix, daughter," the Goddess told her.  "Tarrin has come back to you.  Are you going to stain that with accusations and anger, or are you going to accept it and enjoy it?"

      Jesmind bit her lip, then she burst into tears again and wrapped her arms around him.  He took care not to disturb his infant daughter, but put an arm around his mate. "It's alright, Jesmind," he told her.  "I know it upset you, and I'm sorry it had to happen.  But that was the way things had to be."

      "Well, no matter what happened, we're just glad you're back, Tarrin," Dar said simply.

      "Amen," Camara Tal agreed.

 

      It was much later.  Tarrin sat on the couch in his mate's apartment, with Jasana and Eron sharing space, sleeping in his lap and Tara sleeping in his arms.  Jesmind sat beside him, with half of her daughter's body splayed over her lap, stroking her hair gently.  Mist and Kimmie were on the other side, Kimmie holding their other daughter.  Triana stood behind them, and Jenna, Keritanima, and Allia sat on the chair on the far side, with Sarraya hovering in the air over them.  This was the core of his family, his sisters and the women in his life, and it seemed appropriate to him that they would share this special time together after the wonderful reunion.

      They had spent hours cramped into this small room, trading stories and catching up with one another.  Tarrin heard all about the mobilization from five different viewpoints, and the initial attack that had turned into a terrified rout when they reached the battlefield.  They heard about his and Jesmind's trek across Ungardt, and their trip through the mountains.  Jesmind still had the belt he'd made her, and she showed it off to them, demonstrating the camoflaging Illusion that Tarrin had set into them.  But when the story reached their confrontation with Val, things got fuzzy and indisctinct.  Tarrin still had trouble remembering that, and both Jesmind and Jasana as well were very unsure of exactly what happened.  The only thing they did remember was that Tarrin had goaded and annoyed Val into losing his temper, and that had been the one thing that had let Tarrin get the best of him.

      Tarrin had enjoyed that time, time spent in wonderful conversation and companionship with his dearest friends, but the march of time had caught up to them.  After several hours in that room together, appetites grew, children got restless, and there were some official affairs to attend.  Keritanima had to return to Wikuna for a while, taking Rallix, Miranda, and the Vendari home, but coming back alone some time later.  Camara Tal and Koran Tal bid their goodbyes so they could make arrangements with Ianelle, who had business to complete, about her Teleporting them to Abrodar, which but a ride and a half's journey to the isles of Amazar.  Tiella had urged Dar away, and Dolanna told him with a smile that Dar had decided to throw caution to the wind and propose marriage to her.  They had had crushes on one another for a while, and they'd been kissing in corners ever since Tarrin left with Jesmind.  Tarrin liked Tiella, and she was one of the few women strong enough to handle the young Arkisian.  They were a good match, and he knew that their union would be a happy one.

      It seemed that everyone was getting married or having children around him.  He held his baby in his arms, smiling down at her, and feeling his older children sleeping against him.  He had never been so happy, both for him and for all his friends.  Very few things could bring more joy into one's life than a new love, or a new child.  He was happy that his friends and sisters were discovering that for themselves.  Jenna had no beau, and he doubted that Dolanna would ever settle down, but there was always hope, and it would be the end of the world when Miranda got married.  But thanks to the Goddess, there was time to wait for it to happen.  He was patient.  It would happen, and he would be there to celebrate with them.

      But it may not be easy to relax around here much longer.  Everyone was told Tarrin was dead, and now he was alive.  Sevren was just one of a large group of katzh-dashi that had tried to get in to see him, and Phandebrass had already started making a nuisance of himself asking Tarrin a million questions about what had happened to him and what he remembered and such.  Tarrin was fond of the addled Wizard, but he was quickly getting on Tarrin's nerves, and he didn't want to be upset right now.  Besides, he thought it best if he simply withdrew quickly and quietly from the Tower, to avoid making a scene and causing Jenna problems.

      He'd take care of that tomorrow.  Jenna was going to Teleport them to Aldreth.  He was going to see his parents, and then he was going to do what he'd been dreaming of doing for nearly two years now.

      Make a home for himself.

      Tara looked up at him with serious little eyes, her expression intent, and then she reached out for him with those tiny little paws, needle-like claws extending out from the tips of her fingers.

      "I think she likes you, cub," Triana said in a thick tone, her paw on his shoulder.

      "I think she'll like anyone who can feed her," Tarrin chuckled with a smile, looking down at her.  "You feel up to a trip tomorrow, mother?"

      "Where are we going?"

      "Aldreth," he said. "It's the middle of winter, and that's going to make building a house rather unpleasant, but I need to get started.  My parents' house is too small to hold all four of us."  He looked sharply at Triana.  "I can't believe you left Jula behind, mother!" he accused.

      She actually flushed.  "I think I have enough of an excuse, cub.  It's not everyday you're told that the cub you thought was dead is really alive.  I'll make it up to her, I promise."

      "I swear, what do you all have against that poor girl?  Isn't it bad enough that she's always just an afterthought to everyone?  Now you have to go and start leaving her behind?"

      "I said I was sorry, cub!" Triana snapped waspishly.

      Tarrin grinned at her.  "Mother said she'd go get her, so I guess everything'll be alright.  Besides, as long as she's here before we leave, that's all that matters."

      "You're leaving already?" Keritanima asked.

      He nodded.  "There's no reason for me to hang around here, mother," he told her.  "Everyone I care about, I can see whenever I want.  I don't have to be around them.  That, and I'd like to get away from here for a while.  I don't like how much attention I'm getting."

      "That's no reason to run away."

      "I'm not.  It's just that I've been waiting to go home for a long time now, mother.  I don't want to hang around here when I could be home."

      "I can understand that," she said, patting his shoulder.  "I'll help you with your house, cub.  I'm a very good carpenter when I have need to be."

      "You're good at everything when you need to be," he told her.

      "True," she admitted shamelessly, which made Tarrin chuckle.

      "When I feel comfortable enough to use my magic, I can help you with that."

      "No, cub.  Let me take care of it."

      "I guess I'll let you," he told her with a smile.

      "It's going to be hard fixing up my place," Kimmie sighed.

      "You're coming home with me," Mist told her.  "My house is only a couple of days from Aldreth.  We're more than close enough."

      "I guess I can't really say no," she said mildly.  "I may need some help with the twins."

      "You'll have to tell the others," Keritanima told him.

      "I think they'll understand," he said, looking at his daughter again.  "I do want to say goodbye.  I think they'll get mad if I sneak out without seeing them again."

      Keritanima laughed.  "If you'd have done that to me one more time, I'd have cut off your tail."

      "Are you sure that leaving tomorrow is wise?" Allia asked.  "You are only just restored.  Should it not be wise to remain near Jenna so they can ensure you have no complications?"

      "I'll be fine, sister," he told her.  "I'm not sick, and I'm not wounded.  It'll be a little while before I feel comfortable using magic again, but that's the only side effect of all this."  He reached back and touched his braid absently.  It was hard to forget it was there now, knowing that it was the instrument by which his body was regenerated.  "And if I do have a problem, I'm just a call away from help.  Distance doesn't really mean anything anymore."

      Allia chuckled ruefully.  "You must teach me how to do that."

      "You'll be a while before you reach that level, sister.  But you will.  And when you do, you'll have three eager teachers to teach you everything you want to know."  He looked at her.  "Are you going back to the desert, or are you going to stay here?"

      "I guess I will return to the desert," she said after a moment.  "But it will be a long journey."

      "Not as long as you think," he smiled.  "Ianelle knows a Sha'Kar who studied the ruins of Mala Myrr.  She said that he can Teleport you there.  I'm sure you can get home from there."

      "Easily.  My clan lands are just south of it," she nodded.  "But it will be hard to part from you, my brother.  Especially after the last three days."

      "I'm just a call away, sister," he said, touching his amulet meaningfully.  "And since I'll be stationary, I can project out to see you any time you want."

      "It will not be the same."

      "No, it won't, but we can meet face to face any time you're in Mala Myrr."

      "Then I will have to make sure I am there once every month," she smiled.  "I can bring my father and my tribe to meet you."

      "I'd be happy to meet them, deshaida."

      "Jenna's going to have to Teleport me out to Aldreth," Keritanima noted absently.  "I can root myself in the place and then come see you whenever I want."

      "That won't be a problem," Jenna told him.  "And I'll do something to help you fix your problem, Allia.  I think I can create an object that will let you Teleport to a fixed position whenever you use it.  I can set it so it Teleports you between Tarrin's house and the desert."

      "I would be very grateful if you could," Allia told her with a smile.

      "We'll see what we can do, but it'll have to wait.  I have a mountain of paperwork, and the falling out's already started.

      "What falling out?"

      "Shiika sent me a bill," Jenna said harshly, clenching her fist.  "She's charging me for the mobilization of her troops!"

      That made Tarrin laugh ruefully.  "Clever Shiika," he mused.  "Tell her you'll pay a copper bit a year until the debt is paid in full."

      Jenna laughed.  "I'll send a copper bit in the reply and tell her that that's all she's going to get!"

      "She can't seriously think that you'll pay that," Keritanima said.

      "Of course not.  I have no idea why she sent it, but she had to have a reason.  I need to figure it out, so I'll know what she's really after."

      "She really ruffles you, doesn't she?" Tarrin asked.

      "We never should have let her on that throne," Keritanima fumed.  "Why didn't you kill her when you had the chance?  She's a nightmare!"

      "Finally found a monarch you can't bully, eh?" Tarrin grinned.

      "Oh, shut up!"

      "I think she doesn't like Shiika," Triana mused to Tarrin.

      "I think she doesn't like the fact that Shiika is a worthy adversary," Tarrin told her.  "Kerri doesn't like challenges.  She likes everyone to just fall down as soon as she comes onto the floor."

      "Ooohh!!!" Keritanima growled at him.  "Why don't you mind your own business!"

      Jasana stirred on his lap, and then settled back down.  "Keep it down!" Jesmind admonished her.  "You're going to wake up the children!"

      "Sorry," she said contritely.  "I need one of those."

      "You can't have mine," Kimmie said immediately.

      "I mean a baby of my own," she said.  "I'd like to have an heir, though he'll never really sit on the throne."

      "I think he will," Jenna said.  "Wikuna would go to pieces unless there was an Eram sitting on that throne to keep order."

      "For now.  In a few decades, after everyone's used to the system, they won't need me anymore."

      "You'll get tired of babysitting Wikuna sooner than you think, Kerri," Jenna told her.  "Face it.  You're going to end up with a constitutional monarchy."

      "When did she learn those big words?" Tarrin asked.

      "Hush, brother," she said snippily.

      "Well, I think it's time to put Eron to bed," Mist said, standing up.  "And if we're going to Aldreth tomorrow, we may want to leave before the Sorcerers wake up."  She collected up her son, and Tarrin put a gentle paw on his chest before Mist carried him out of his reach.

      "She's right," Jenna said.  "If we want things to stay quiet, then we'll have to get up pretty early."

      They broke up after that, and the children were put to bed.  Tarrin stayed up a while with Triana, Jesmind, Mist, and Kimmie, sharing time with his Were mate, girlfriends, and bond-mother.  They spoke of nothing important, only enjoying time together before things changed in the morning.  Then Kimmie went off to feed her babies, Mist went with her, and Jesmind, who had had such an emotionaly exhausting day added on to three days without sleep, literally fell asleep on the couch, leaning up against Tarrin.  Tarrin put her to bed, but was not tired himself.  He'd been sleeping--in a sense--for three days, and he wasn't tired.

      He wandered the hallways alone, going to all the old places he knew so well.  The dining hall where he'd eaten as a Novice.  The kitchens where he, Allia, and Keritanima had met so many times to pass information.  He went to the baths, another of their talking spots, spending much time down here getting waterlogged as they talked about what was happening and what they were doing.  He returned to the Chamber of the Heart one more time, recalling the battle with Jegojah, then wandered out to the training field where Allia trained him in the Dance, and he had forged a strong bond with the Knights.  He had spent so much time here.  He had hated it when he was here, but now he felt strangely sad to be leaving.  Though it had never seemed very welcoming or comfortable, the Tower of Six Spires had served as his temporary home, and now it was the domain of his sister, Jenna.  She was the Keeper, one of the sui'kun, a symbol of the new golden age of magic that was dawning, an age when the Weave was whole, and magic was again at its full power in the world.

      But that was Jenna's world, and Jasana's world.  It would not be his world.  He was going to be taking a vacation from it for a while, and he had no intention of setting foot off his land for the next hundred years.  He would go home and establish his territory, build his house, and then just live.  No running around saving the world, no long missions to far-flung locations.  The biggest worry he would have would be catching dinner or weeding his garden.  No more fighting with progressively more and more dangerous enemies.  He may have to chase off some Goblinoids, but he could live with that.  They'd be little more than some light exercise.  No, he was done with all that.  He'd go home and raise his daughter, watch his son and twin girls grow up with her, and he would be happy.

      And that was all that mattered.

      He wandered aimlessly along the halls, halls he and Auli and Dar had skulked when he was human, their minds bent on mischief.  He wandered down to the storeroom where they'd discovered that Jasana had turned him, then he wandered up to the door of Jenna's office, an office where he had had more than one confrontation with Myriam Lar, the old Keeper.  As he wandered, he remembered old friends, old places.  Abraham Kern, captain of the Star of Jerod, probably wandering the seas with absolute impugnity with that black cat sitting on his steering deck.  Haley was probably still tending his inn in Dayisè, and Renoit was still herding his troupe about the coastal cities on that horrific bright pink ship, Dancer.  Ariana was being a queen in Amyr Dimeon, and Var and Denai had to have their hands full by now raising their child.  Given their mother's personality, that child was going to be an absolute monster.  Arren was the king of Sulasia now, and he had already established his authority and won over the hearts of the people with his kind and conscientious rule.  His grandfather had died, and that made him sigh.  Anrak Whiteaxe was at best only an occasional part of Tarrin's life--he'd only seen the man twice in his whole life--but he was still family, and his presence was sorely missed.

      And then there was Faalken.  He said a silent prayer when he thought about him, dead now well over a year, and still such a strong force in his life.  He would live that life the way Faalken would have wanted him to live, a life filled with little care, filled with laughter, and filled with love.  He would honor his friend, honor him every day for the rest of his life, and the next boy child he had would carry his dear friend's name.  There could be no better way to honor Faalken's memory than to name his child after him.

      Now he understood what possessed Ahiriya's parents to name their redheaded daughter after the goddess of fire.  He wondered absently if Ahiriya had been pleased by that.

      He walked along, and Camara Tal silently fell into step beside him.  They walked along in silence for a long moment, then she chuckled ruefully.  "We've come a long way, haven't we?" she asked.

      "I think we did, Camara," he answered.  "I'm going to miss you."

      "I think we'll see each other again," she told him with a smile.  "We want you to be there when I give birth.  We want you to be the child's godfather."

      "I'd be honored."

      "I'm glad to hear that.  I talked to Triana a while ago."

      "Oh?  What did she tell you?"

      "That you and the other Were-cats are leaving in the morning."

      "We are.  I want to get away from here.  I get the feeling if I hang around here too long, they're going to find something else for me to do."

      Camara Tal laughed.  "Well, you'll just have to run while you have the chance, then."

      "That's the general idea.  Make sure they give you a shaeram before you leave."

      "I already have one."

      "Where are you going, anyway?"

      "The kitchens.  One of the rather annoying effects of being pregnant.  Cravings."

      "Kimmie went through that," he chuckled.

      "I'm going to miss those kitchens when we go, but I want to get back home as fast as I can.  If only to show my family I'm bringing Koran back.  And that I'm pregnant, of course."

      "When are you leaving?"

      "Tomorrow," she answered.  "I went to Ianelle as soon as Triana left us.  I came to protect and help you, Tarrin.  You don't need me anymore, so it's time for me to go home."

      "That's such a wonderful word," he said dreamily.  "Home."

      "By this time tomorrow, my friend, you'll be there," she told him with a smile.  "And this will all be over."

      "It wasn't all bad," he said after a moment.  "I've made friends to last a lifetime."

      "Then no matter how bad it seemed, it was actually a good thing," she said calmly.   "Things come and go, Tarrin.  Homes change, people change, and time itself will invariably change.  But friendship and love, those last as long as we want them to.  With a little work and devotion, they can last forever."

      "You know, you're quite the poet sometimes, Camara," he said as they turned down a side hall, heading for the kitchens.

      "You can't help but wax philosophical sometimes when you're a Priestess, Tarrin," she chuckled as they went.  "It's part of the training."

      "I guess it would be."

 

      It was harder than he thought it would be.

      They were all there to see them off.  Keritanima and Allia.  Dolanna and Dar.  Camara and Koran Tal.  Miranda and Azakar.  Sarraya and Ianelle.  Binter and Sisska.  Auli and Allyn.  Phandebrass and his drakes, whom Tarrin had not seen for quite a while.  And of course, in spirit, as he always would be, Faalken was there as well.

      They had gathered in the gardens, where it was warm and pleasant despite the cold chill of the winter, and it was time to say goodbye.  Tarrin and the Were-cats were leaving, and those left behind would also soon be returning to where they also belonged.  Camara Tal was taking her husband and returning to Amazar.  Sarraya would be returning to her colony.  Dar was going to go visit his parents in Arkis, and he was taking Tiella with him.  Keritanima had a kingdom to run, and Allia would be leaving with Allyn for the desert later that very morning.  Phandebrass was going to take up a temporary position in the Tower library, to help them straighten out their texts of Wizard magic and give him a steady place to do his writing.  Auli too was about to take a journey.  She was going to the tower in Abrodar with a contingent of other Sha'Kar so the katzh-dashi there could begin learning what the Sha'Kar had to teach them, and Dolanna was one of them.  Dolanna was from Sharadar, and she wanted to return home for a while.  Tarrin couldn't blame her.  They were all splitting up, going their separate ways now that there was no longer a need for them to stay together, but they would always be together in spirit.  They were joined by the bonds of a powerful love and friendship, and as Camara Tal had said, it would last as long as they wished it to.  He could visit any of them any time he wished, and that made it seem less a goodbye and more an "until tomorrow."

      But even that "until tomorrow" seemed harder than he expected it to be.  He traded fierce hugs with those he was leaving behind, and he was already missing them.  He wouldn't be only a touch away from his sisters, he wouldn't be there to hear Camara Tal and Phandebrass argue, or Keritanima tease Dar and vice versa, or Sarraya fight with absolutely everyone.  They were going home, but those homes were not all in the same place.

      The Goddess had not arrived with Jula yet, but Tarrin knew that even if they left, it would be alright.   Mother would bring Jula to him, no matter where he was, and that couldn't be an excuse to hold him here.  If he found an excuse, he'd find another, then another, then another, and he'd never leave.

      Funny.  He spent all that time wishing to go home, and now that the moment was upon him, he was reluctant to do so.

      It wasn't easy, but it was necessary, and they all knew that it was going to happen eventually.  They would not be together for the rest of their lives, and now that everything was at peace again, it was time to return to those lives dropped before all this instanity began.  But they could visit.  Tarrin, Keritanima, Dolanna, and Jenna could Teleport, and between them and with the help of the Sha'Kar, they could bring the group back together within a matter of days.  Such a reunion had already been planned, and it would take place on the island of Amazar.  They would gather to celebrate the birth of Camara Tal's child, to keep strong the bonds of love and friendship that bound them together.

      They would not forget one another.

      It was hardest to say goodbye to Keritanima and Allia.  He held each of them a very long time, telling them over and over again that they had to come visit him, and to talk to him using the amulets every day.  He told Keritanima he'd personally come to Wikuna and kick her tail if she didn't project out to see him at least once a ride, and he promised each of them that as soon as he was capable of it, he would be doing the same.

      "You'd better," Keritanima told him tearfully as he and both his sisters shared a common embrace.  "I hate letting you go, brother."

      "We all have our own things to do, Kerri," he told her.  "And we'll never be truly apart.  I'm always just a touch away."

      "That is the only reason I can let you go, my brother," Allia told him thickly.

      "And you were going to sneak away without saying goodbye to me?  I'm crushed," the Goddess said.  They all turned to look at her, and then she stepped aside.  Behind her, wearing a new pair of leather trousers and a simple linen shirt, was Jula.

      Tarrin opened his arms to his bond-daughter, and she flew into them with tearful eyes, hugging him tightly.  "I can't believe it!" she sobbed.  "I'm so glad you're alright, father!"

      "I'm fine, cub," he said to her gently.  "And you got here just in time.  A few more minutes, and Mother would have had to bring you to Aldreth.  I hope Triana leaving you behind didn't upset you too much."

      "I was until Mother spoke to me," she said.  "She told me to be patient and wait, and she'd come for me.  She came for me," she said in wonder.

      "I'm sorry about that, cub," Triana said with sincere regret.  "When your Goddess spoke to me and told me about Tarrin, I completely forgot myself.  I think I said some pretty nasty things to the Hierarchs before I left."

      "You did," she giggled.  "They were very mad at you."

      "Why did you go there?" Tarrin asked them.

      "They wanted to test me," Jula said.  "I'm an adult now, father.  I don't have to stay with you.  But if you don't mind, I'd like to.  I'll help you settle in and help Jesmind with Jasana.  If you don't mind."

      "We don't mind at all, cub," Jesmind told her with a gentle smile.  "But you may be usurped by Kimmie and Mist.  They're going to need a little help."

      Jula looked over to them, then saw the tiny bundles in their arms.  She squealed in delight and rushed over to them, looking into the tiny bundles with unbridled joy.  "Twins!" she said in wonder.  "Kimmie, you had twins!"

      "Yes, two are more or less considered twins," Kimmie said with a sly smile.  "This is Tara, and Mist is holding Rina.  And we very well may ask you to stay with us a while, Jula.  You know how precocious Were-cat children are.  We just might need your help."

      "I'd be happy to babysit for you," Jula said.

      "I say, congratulations on your adulthood, Jula," Phandebrass said with a smile.  "It was well earned, it was."

      "Thank you," she said with a slight blush.

      They gathered around Jula, welcoming her and congratulating her, but the Goddess had come up to Tarrin.  She looked up at him with boundless love in her eyes, and she held out her hands to him.  He took them in her paws gently, lost in the love he felt from her, totally adoring her.  "Just as I promised you, kitten," she said, looking up at him with a glorious smile.  "You have your reward."

      Jula laughed brightly, but the Goddess fixed her with an icy stare.  "Not a word!" she snapped at the female.

      "Yes, Mother," she said meekly, but she was grinning broadly.

      "What did you do, Mother?" he asked susiciously.

      She pulled her hands from him and put her hands behind her back, striking up a pose of thoroughly insincere innocence.  "Ohhhhhh, nothing," she said, giving him an outrageous smile.

      Tarrin laughed helplessly.  "Alright, if you want to surprise me, I promise I'll be surprised," he told her.  "Just for you."

      "Oh, good!" she said brightly, then she literally leaped forward and grabbed him by the neck.  She pulled him down, and then gave him a loving kiss on the cheek, a kiss that burned with throbbing power that reminded him that she was very much a god.  "Remember, you promised to be surprised," she told him.  "Now go on, kitten.  You need to get on your way."

      Tarrin sighed, then he nodded.  "Alright, gather around me," Jenna called, and the two groups quickly separated.  Tarrin looked at those he was leaving behind, saw the wonderfully poignant smiles, remembered just how each one of them looked at that moment.  Allia and Keritanima, his dear sisters.  Camara Tal and Miranda, two of his closest friends.  Little Sarraya, another dear friend.  Binter and Sisska, so solid and depeandable.  Azakar, so loyal and brave.  Phandebrass, so intelligent.  And Dolanna, wonderful Dolanna, who had been with him since the very beginning, the woman to whom he owed so much.  She smiled at him, such a glorious smile, and then she waved.  "May I come visit you?" she asked.

      "Any time you want, Dolanna," he told her.  "My home is always yours."

      He felt Jenna's spell reach out and surround them, and he knew that would be the last he'd see of them all at once until Camara had her baby.  But that was only seven months from now.  To a Were-cat, that was just a blink of the eyes.  He'd wake up tomorrow and realize it was time to go to Amazar.

      It was not a goodbye.  It truly was only until tomorrow.

      And then they were gone.  And a chapter of Tarrin's life had come to an end.

 

      Aldreth was freezing.

      They arrived just at dawn.  Jenna had aimed them at the fallow farmland just outside the house, and she had been true to the mark.  The sky was completely clear, and the scents in the air were of snow and frozen forest, with very little animal scent reaching them.  There was half a span of snow in a ring around the zone of Jenna's Teleportation--the snow that had been where they were was now laying on the grass in the garden at the Tower, traded for Tarrin's party--and he looked around to see that things on the Kael homestead had returned more or less to normal.  Their father had rebuilt the small barn and the brewhouse, and they had done some work to the old house.  There was smoke wafting up from a brand new stone chimney, and the old roof had been replaced with one made of sturdy gray slate.  The pens were rebuilt, and there were about a dozen fat sheep grazing on dried hay dumped into a trough near the barn.  There was even a new chicken coop on the far side of the barnyard, and five plump chickens scratched in the churned snow for seeds scattered about into it earlier that morning.  Either mother or father had gotten up to do the chores, and feeding the animals was first on that list.

      "Well, let's go crash breakfast," Jenna said impishly, then she pulled her cloak around her.  "And get out of this cold!"

      They trudged up to the farmhouse, and an entire lifetime of memories swirled up around him.  He had been born in that house, and all of this had ultimately started right here.  On the Kael farm, that isolated farmstead that held the distinction of being the furthest east of any human settlement in Sulasia.  Home to a pensioned Ranger and his Ungardt princess bride, and had been for the last twenty years.  This was where he grew up, this was where he learned how to fight and how to hunt.  This was where he began, and in a way, this was what he was.  The fact that he was one of the most powerful magic-users on Sennadar meant little to him.  The fact that he was a Were-cat was only a change in what he had once been, and that was a simple farmboy who happened to live in the best family there was.  He had been very happy here, even when he was planning to leave.  And it only seemed right that he would come full circle, and he would return here once more after it was over.  He wouldn't live in this house, he had his eyes on a small meadow about four hours of human walk into the Frontier, a nice little meadow on top of a small hill that had a stream running along its southern border, at the base of that little rise. That would be his house.  But this place, this region, from Aldreth to a day's walk into the Frontier, it would always be his home.

      Jenna pushed the door open brashly and stepped inside in front of Tarrin.  "We're home!" she shouted, startling her father, who was sitting by the fire with his hands out to it.  He had just come in from doing the chores.  Eron Kael looked wildly towards the door, and as he ducked under the door to come in behind his sister, he saw his mother, Elke Kael, standing over the stove he'd given Jesmind, cooking eggs and ham steaks in new iron skillets.  She took one look at him and dropped her fork, her hands going to her mouth.  "Dallstad's axe!" she gasped.  "Jenna!  Tarrin!"

      Tarrin hugged Elke first, if only because she got to her children before their father.  She hugged him, then hugged Jenna as Eron hugged Tarrin, then hugged Tarrin again.  They caught them up at the door, and the females behind were stopped momentarily.  Elke looked under his shoulder during her second hug and saw Jesmind and Jasana, then she laughed in delight.  "You brought Jesmind!" she said with a bright smile.

      "He brought everyone," Kimmie called lightly.  "Can we come in too?  It's a bit chilly out here, you know!"

      Laughing, Elke Kael made room, and they moved aside so the others could enter.  Jasana trotted up and jumped into her grandmother's arms, and Elke hugged her warmly before passing her off to Eron.  "Jasana!" he said happily.  "How's my little kitten?"

      "I'm alright, Granpapa," she said with a bright smile.  "We're home!"

      Elke hugged Jula, whom she knew was Tarrin's bond-daughter, gave Kimmie a light hug, then offered her hand to Mist.  She hadn't met Mist, only knew of her from what Jenna and Tarrin had told her.  Triana came in behind them, and she nodded knowingly to her.  "Well, who have we here?" Elke asked as she knelt down and looked at the suddenly shy Eron.

      "This is your grandson, Eron," Mist told her bluntly.  "Say hello, Eron."

      "Hello, Gramma," he said bashfully.

      "And these are your newest grandchildren, Elke," Kimmie said proudly, holding up her bundle.  "This is Tara, and Mist is holding Rina.  They're your granddaughters."

      Elke turned down the blanket and looked at Tara's tiny little face, and her eyes simply melted when she saw the infant.  "Oh," she said breathlessly. "She's beautiful, Kimmie!"

      "They're identical, so when you see one, you've seen them both," Kimmie winked.

      "Rubbish!" Elke said. "Let me see my other granddaughter, Mist!"

      Mist laughed and presented the baby to her as Eron, with Jasana in his arms, came over and looked at Tara.  Tarrin picked up Eron, Triana and Jula gathered in with Jesmind and Jenna, and they all spent a moment marvellling at Kimmie's babies.

      "We're home, Grandpa!" Jasana said again happily.

      "How long are you going to visit?" Elke asked Jenna.

      "No, mother. We are home," he told her.  "Everything's been settled, mother.  I've come home."

      Elke put her hands to her mouth again, then gave him a fierce hug.  "I don't know where I'm going to put you all, but we'll find room," she said.  "Are your friends staying long?"

      "We'll be here for breakfast, mother," he told her.  "There's a meadow out in the Frontier that I'm going to claim.  About two hours in or so by horse.  I'm going to build my house there.  Mist and Kimmie have to go back to their own homes.  We just wanted stop in and see you before we go."

      "And have breakfast!" Jenna said brightly.

      "And have breakfast," Tarrin chuckled.

      And they did just that.  Triana had to Conjure the extra food, but Elke cooked it, with Jenna and Kimmie helping, and they sat down in the common room and had a good, hot, filling meal cooked by his mother's familiar hands.  It seemed wonderful to Tarrin to sit down and have a meal with his parents, and know that once he left their home, there was nothing but the trip out to the meadow, and the process of building.  Triana would be a big help there, Conjuring the materials they'd need, but they'd be living out of tents for a couple of rides.  He thought about leaving Jasana in the house with her grandparents, but she needed to be with them right now.  She was a hardy girl, she could handle the cold.

      "So, you're building a house," Eron said.  "Why not stay here a while?  We can round up a house-raising party, son.  We can have it up in a few days."

      "Thanks, father, but this is something I think we should do ourselves," he said.  "I'm not building anything big or fancy.  We just need a nice cabin with enough room for me and Jesmind and my daughters."

      "And I won't be there too long," Jula told them.  "I've been given my adulthood by Fae-da'Nar.  I'm going to stay with father a while, and when I'm sure they're settled in, I'll be moving on."

      "Well, that's nice to hear, girl," Elke told her.  "Does this mean that everything's said and done, son?"

      He nodded.  "It's all over, mother.  The day for the Firestaff came and went, and we're all still here.  That's all that was needed.  It won't be a problem for five thousand years.  I think it's going to take me that long to recover from this," he admitted ruefully.

      "Papa died," Jasana blurted.  "But the shining lady brought him back again."

      "Jasana!" Jesmind snapped.

      "You didn't say I couldn't tell them," she said flippantly.

      "You what?" Elke gasped.

      "Well, it's technically true," he admitted sheepishly.  "It's a long story."

      "And you're not leaving this house until you tell it!" Elke said flatly, slamming down her tankard of water on the table.

      More or less obliged to do so, Tarrin sat down and did just that.  He told them about Jasana's abduction, and his wild plan to get her back.  The others added in what they knew, and it took them most of the morning to tell it.  "It was the only way I could pull it off," he said ruefully as he finished telling them about his confrontation with Val, and his using the Firestaff.  "I took a huge chance, but it paid off in the end."

      "You're as bad as your father!" Elke accused.  Then she laughed. "But you're here now, and that's all that matters," she told him with a loving smile.

      "I'm glad you're not mad," he smiled.

      "I should be, but I'll forgive you this time," she told him.

      They helped Elke clean up the dishes, and spent a little while just visiting.  Eron and Elke took turns holding the twins and Eron, getting to know their energetic grandson, and Eron only broke two chairs and a pair of dishes as he zoomed around the room frenetically.  Jenna told them all about Arren becoming king and her hand in that, then told them about those they left behind.  "Kerri went back home to Wikuna, and Allia should be in the desert by now.  Dar should be in Arkis, and those that didn't stay at the Tower should be in Abrodar by now.  Everyone's going home," he sighed.  "I'm going to miss them."

      "My mate, if we want to get home, we should think of heading out," Jesmind warned.

      "It is getting late," he agreed, standing up.  "So, what do you say, mother, father?  Want to come see the future home of your son?"

      "I'd love to!" Elke said happily.

      "I think I know which meadow you're talking about, son," Eron smiled.  "Let me get my winter cloak and my boots."

      They let Tarrin's parents get ready, and then they stepped outside.  It was midafternoon now, still briskly cold, and still brightly sunny.  Jula stepped down into the snow and looked around, then she laughed and started around the house.

      "Jula?  Where are you going?" Tarrin called.

      "I think it's around the back.  I don't know, I didn't come through it," she called.

      "What are you talking about?"

      "Just follow me!" she called.

      They started out after her, and when they came around the house, he started sensing something magical.  And it was strong.  Jenna looked a little surprised, looking at Tarrin speculatively.  "That wasn't here the last time I visited."

      "I think we just found out what Mother didn't do," Tarrin chuckled.

      What the Goddess didn't do was create a strange stone arch behind the house, just inside the treeline.  It was surrounded by a simple split rail fence that had a gate in it facing the house.  The arch screamed of great power. The rather plain stone arch was one solid piece of white granite, some twenty spans high and eight spans wide at its base.

      "Here it is," Jula said.

      "What is this, Jula?" Triana asked.

      "Mother knew you'd want an easy way to get back and forth from your parents' farm.  So she made you one.  Step through this, and it takes you to the meadow."

      "Well, that was nice of her," Elke said, a little uncomfortably.  "It's going to be a little hard to explain for anyone who comes to visit."

      "They can't see it," she said mildly.  "Only we can."

      "Oh.  I'll take your word for it."

      Jula smiled broadly.  "Come on, father.  There's something on the other side you need to see.  It's mother's gift to you."

      "Now I'm worried," Tarrin said with a nervous laugh.  He picked up Jasana and took Jesmind's hand as Jula opened the gate, and then he stepped up to it.  He had no real fear of the magical device or using it, but he was sincerely worried about what he might find on the other side of that arch.  There was no telling what could be there.

      But the only way to find out was to see.

      With a sigh, he stepped foward, and then walked into the arch.

      There was a strange tingling inside him, and then the view of the woods that he saw through the arch blurred, and then he was standing at the edge of a small meadow surrounded by dormant trees.  There was a little stream on the south side of that meadow, but the meadow was covered in lush, green grass.  Tarrin stepped forward, mindful that people were going to come after him, but his steps slowed to a stop as he got a good look at the little present that Jula had talked about.

      It was a house.

      Not just a house.  It was the perfect house.

      It was two stories high, and just large enough.  It was made of simple gray stone, with large windows in its face.  The front door, made of mahogany, was built up from the ground, that door framed by a large deck that spanned the whole front of the house, complete with redwood chairs and a table sitting under a slate roof that extended over the deck.  The rails of the deck were painted white, rails that ringed the deck and flanked a short staircase that led up to the deck and the front door.  The house looked to be a good ten or twelve rooms large, and it was obviously built on top of a cellar.

      The house wasn't the only thing amazing about the meadow.  It was warm there, just like in the garden back in Suld, a gentle warmth that was magical in nature, a dome of comfort that spread over the entire meadow.  It made the meadow grass green and lush, and it ensured that no matter how hot or cold it got in the forest beyond, this little meadow and the house it contained would always be comfortable.

      One by one, his friends, children, sister, and parents stopped around him, staring at the house in surprise.  They were all absolutely quiet, shocked that they would find it there.  And then, Eron laughed.

      "I guess you don't have to build it after all!" he proclaimed.

      "Now this is a gift!" Jesmind said happily, taking Jasana from him and rushing towards the house.  "Come on, let's go see it!"

      They all rushed off to the house, to look inside and see what wonders were within.  All except Tarrin. He stood there for a long moment, marvelling at the house, and then he laughed ruefully.  Jula came up beside him and looked up at it with him, then she patted him on the shoulder and smiled.  "You didn't think she was going to let you sleep on the ground, did you?" she asked lightly.

      Tarrin laughed.

      "Tarrin!  You have to see this!" Jesmind shouted from the door.  Everyone else was inside.  "There's running water, Tarrin!  Just like what you described to me they have in Wikuna!  It comes right out of a faucet in the kitchen!"

      "Well, father?" Jula asked seriously, patting his shoulder again.

      Tarrin could only look at the beautiful house in wonder, and then he silently thanked the Goddess.  She had given everything he had ever wanted.  All he had wanted when all this was said and done was peace.  To live in a house out in the forest where nobody would bother him and raise his children, spend time with his mate, and just live.  His Goddess had demanded so much of him, but now, he saw, she was willing, even happy, to give back to him in return.  She had given him everything he had ever wanted everything he had ever needed.  She had brought him back, so he could be with Jesmind and Kimmie and Mist and watch his children grow up.  She had brought him here, so he could start his new life.  And she had made him this, a beautiful house, where he could live in complete comfort and want for nothing.  Where he could watch his children grow up healthy and happy, where he could teach them all he knew and send them out into the world to make their own marks.  Where he could spend endless night after night in domestic bliss with Jesmind, or Kimmie, or Mist, always with a loving paw and a good companion with him to share his days and enrich his life.  A place he could bring his sisters and friends, a place they would always feel was theirs as well as his own.

      A place where he could live.  A place where he would be happy.

      A tear coming to his eye, he patted Jula's paw, and then started forward.  Yes, he wanted to see this wonderful house, this beautiful and perfect gift from his beloved Goddess.  He wanted to see it and thank her for every room he saw, every piece of furniture, every little nail in every board.  He wanted to see it.

      First at a step, then at a jog, and then at a run, Tarrin ran across the meadow, up the stairs, and through the door of this, his house, his land, his place, his territory.  His home.

      At long last, he had come full circle, and the long journey was finally at an end.

      He was home.